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05-03-2008, 05:54 AM,
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RE: Promotion
Note to Steel God!!!
You gave Darran the keys to the ladies room. Whoops! The executive washroom is the shell hole at the rear of the forum.
Welcome aboard Darran!
I am happy you are on the team.
I will order that bear hat for your icon.  What size is the bird's head?
Dog Soldier
Fast is fine, but accuracy is everything.
- Wyatt Earp
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05-03-2008, 08:02 AM,
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Steel God
General
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Posts: 4,850
Joined: Sep 1999
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RE: Promotion
Steel God stumbles bleary eyed into the staff room....unshaven...hung over....hungry and sick to his stomach at the same time...his nose picks up a foul odor coming from the executive wash room....he turns a blood shot eye towards Dog Soldier who is casually handing him a large cup of very black coffee.
Steel God asks: "What is that stink?"
"Our new OpC Deputy Commander sir"; Dog replies.
"Who the hell...? Steel starts but is cut off by Dog.
"It's Foul" Dog replies cutting of SGs question still born on his lips...and he is apparently....quite......foul.
Steel God: "please tell me I had nothing to do with this Dog".
DOG!!! Get back here...don't you leave me here alone.
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05-03-2008, 09:19 AM,
(This post was last modified: 05-03-2008, 09:58 PM by Mr Grumpy.)
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Mr Grumpy
Moderator
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Posts: 7,825
Joined: Jul 2004
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RE: Promotion
Foul exits the cubicle, the copy of War & Peace left on the wet floor, a piece of pre-heated toilet paper marking how far he had tried to read.............
The door was swinging, as if someone had left in a hurry? Foul thought he was on his own, but a flickering bulb showed a faint outline of a hunched figure in the corner.........
Foul screwed up his eyes to see through the gloom, "hey it's my old buddy Steel God, i thought you always used the ladies?"
"Great facilities you have in this part of the club, wish i had been made a full officer sooner" (hint, hint)
He moves to the sink, talking as he goes..........
"Only thing is i am having trouble getting rid of this one! I think the flush is not nearly stong enough, any chance you could go in there and take a look?"
There is a crash, a door is left swinging, a spilled cup of black coffee on the floor, maybe it was the wind playing tricks, but he was sure he could hear a faint voice calling Dog!, Dog!, getting ever fainter......
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05-03-2008, 09:15 PM,
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RE: Promotion
HEY!!!??? Don't leave us hanging now! Did Steel God run from the stink or did he just not want you to see him steal the floater? :conf:
PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW! :smoke:
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05-03-2008, 10:02 PM,
(This post was last modified: 05-03-2008, 10:04 PM by Mr Grumpy.)
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Mr Grumpy
Moderator
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Posts: 7,825
Joined: Jul 2004
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RE: Promotion
Mark,
The next installment is down to SG! :chin:
I should point out though that my "delivery" was more like a "baby's arm" than a "floater" !!!  :eek1:
...............................................:jaw:................................................
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05-04-2008, 01:32 AM,
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RE: Promotion
Fast is fine, but accuracy is everything.
- Wyatt Earp
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05-04-2008, 03:04 AM,
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Steel God
General
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Posts: 4,850
Joined: Sep 1999
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RE: Promotion
Steel God stumbles, and careens down the dimly light hall way, shaking his head to clear the noxious odor from his sinus cavity. In the dim lighting he sees the outline of that outrageous hat of Dog Soldier's walking down the center aisle. SG breaks into a trot, pausing after 100 or so feet to get sick. The stains from the illness splatter onto his shirt before the coffee stains have even had a chance to dry.
Dog never broke stride, or quickened his pace...his gait matching his demeanor. Finally Steel God catches up to him...placing a hand on his shoulder he spins Dog around maybe a touch too quickly, Dog's clipboard which is ubiquitously tucked under his left arm nearly....but not quite...coming lose.
Steel God tries to focus on Dog's eye, but that damned hat keeps drawing his gaze upward.
Finally Dog breaks the spell and asks, "yes Sir? May I help you?"
Steel God...hesitating...spit and vomit flecked through his beard.....looks plaintively at Dog, and says:
"PLEASE....tell me....WHAT....WHY.......HOW?"
But SG collapses in a heap at Dog's feet. Dog pulls a boot out from under the collapsed Vice Commander....casually wiping the spittle from the toe of his boot on the back of his trouser leg. Sighs, and reaches for the cell phone.
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05-04-2008, 08:17 AM,
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Mr Grumpy
Moderator
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Posts: 7,825
Joined: Jul 2004
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RE: Promotion
Foul looks in the mirror and shakes his head as he wipes the water off his face "strange place this officer's barracks, people running in and out, officers in strange bear hats, inadequate flush rates, not how i expected it at all" then a faint vibration could be felt in his trousers "hell, i must have left my big weapon in my pocket from when i last saw Helga" he has a rummage around, teeth locked in a grimace "ohh i was wrong it was just my cell phone!!"
"Hello who's that..........Hello Dog, how's it hanging, what's that? Steel God on the floor.....sick everywhere.....groaning....talking about baby's arms...is his wife expecting do you know?"
Foul takes a deep breath...........
"What's the problem, sick on your trousers!....no with Steel God, what's HIS problem?... Can you loosen his clothes?........what's that?...he has got a bra and thong on!.....do you think they have stopped the blood flow to his head??.....Ok i am coming over, make sure you put his head between his legs...no i said HIS legs!"
Foul hangs up, "what a first day, it can't get any stranger now...can it"
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05-04-2008, 08:32 AM,
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Steel God
General
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Posts: 4,850
Joined: Sep 1999
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RE: Promotion
okay...no mas!!
I surrender. Any thread that starts talking about...well...never mind, I guve up, you win.
Welcome aboard. :cheeky:
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