Remake a War Movie?

[Jim von Krieg]

Make it stop, MAKE IT STOP...

I just watched a movie "Battle of the Last Panzer"... OMG, it has to be one of the worst movies of all time... A Spaghetti War Movie...

M47 "Tiger"... ambushed and forgotten behind enemy lines... raiding fuel depot and French town... chasing chickens... making their way towards their lines guided by the French town's "hot" mayor's wife...

US Army with wrong helmets and Italian ranks...

French partisans...

French hostages...

and cheesy spaghetti western type music... bad script... bad acting... at least they killed the entire crew over the course of the movie because I'd never want to see this in a sequel... :jaw:

[Kool Kat]

Make it stop, MAKE IT STOP...

I just watched a movie "Battle of the Last Panzer"... OMG, it has to be one of the worst movies of all time... A Spaghetti War Movie...

Hi Jim!

Slow day at the office... so dug up a little more "dirt" on your movie!

Here's a viewer's review of "Battle of the Last Panzer" (Amazon.com)

"After a failed tank assault against American defenses, a surviving German tank crew teams up with some more survivors to rebuild their Panzer and try to make it behind enemy lines. Pursued by American forces and French guerrillas, the German tankers fight against enemies as well as combating each other.

"Battle of the Last Panzer" has an interesting storyline that should have been better - in fact it was given better (though not perfect) delivery in the later film "The Beast," about a Soviet tank caught behind enemy lines in Afghanistan. By the end of the film the viewer is left very disappointed by what he's come across.

Part of the problem is that this is a "spaghetti" war film. Now, I've always been a huge fan of spaghetti westerns, but the faults that were hidden in those movies come out clear as day here. There's nothing more hilarious than seeing desert terrain passed off as France, and actors who are clearly Italians (swarthy skin, dark hair, Mediterranean composition) passed off as Frenchman. The dubbing, which is usually passable in the westerns, is here really obvious. Sometimes the voice tracking is so bad that for a second I thought I was watching a Godzilla film.

There are oodles of more problems not directly related to the Italian origins of this film. The German tanks are, typical of most WWII films of the time period, simply American tanks with German crosses painted on them. The American uniforms look like Yugoslav uniforms. An American officer wears his rank on his helmet sideways.

There is one good scene, near the end, where the Germans fight off an attack by French guerrillas. Unfortunately, it is too little too late, and the madness/desperation of the German forces is not emphasized enough.

To top this all off, this has some REALLY bad writing. Check out this monologue by the female lead:

"God breathed into dust, and God made man, and when God disappears, there's only dust again. I'd always believed that a man should be like cement...a block of cement...without ever realizing that cement after all is dust...that only man has the breadth of life."

Yeah...that sums up the movie nicely."

Also, had to a little digging on the "French town's hot mayor's wife." :chin:

Erna Schurer is the Swiss-born beauty (actress?) and she has starred in such classics as "Women behind Bars," "Blood Castle" and who could forget her memorable roles in both - "Strip Nude for Your Killer" and "Deported Women of the SS Special Section."

She also starred in the "semi-documentary" :whis: "Sex Life in a Women's Prison" and some more "anatomy-focused" films like "Naked and Lustful" and "Your Hands on my Body."

So, Erna has had quite a varied film career! :whis:

Cya all later.... got to go rent some movies! :rolleyes:

[Jim von Krieg]

that is a pretty accurate assessment of the movie...

That was her soliloquy after her failed sex scene the German Officer who seems to have lost his shirt right after he ditched the mayor and the doctor as hostages. Of course, she was wearing a loose fitting garb which the other tank crew sort of stared at longingly... the German Officer ordered the crew to look out positions on the hills... He'd stay and guard the tank w/ the hostage... LOL...

After all that build up, he couldn't get it on with her because of his post-traumatic stress flashbacks...... and she was thankful to him and that she really loved her husband whom she had earlier disagreed with about the nature of 'men'...

then there was the crazy girl nursing the plastic baby doll that one of the crew stumbled across as he was chasing the chicken... Oh, this is real academy award winning stuff...

[Von Luck]

Still think Das Boot is still one of the best for what its about.Nitty gritty and what life was like in war.

[K K Rossokolski]

Re post #29........ JvK Fully agree...the "documentary aspects, if you will, need to be right. Stuff like the mark of Lee-Enfield wrong for its time. {I accept that logistically it has been necessary for WWII tanks to be portrayed by N-48s, say} My particular hate is medals and/or ribbons incorrectly depicted. "Zulu" Sir Maurice Micklethwite's first movie was particularly accurate in its uniform etc treatment, and I believe the drill was spot on.

Re post #30....Dan.... agree on "The Dam Busters as a great movie. Richard Todd, who played WGCDR Guy Gibson VC DSO* DFC* and who died on Thursday aged 90, had paid his dues....he was a paratrooper on D-Day attacking the Orne Bridges.

I understand a new Hollywood version of The Dam Busters is planned. I get a laugh out of the apparent handwringing about the name of Gibson's pooch.

[Dan Caviness]

KK, they may remake it (Dam Busters) but I doubt they'll be able to live up to the legacy.
I hope I'm wrong!
Can't wait to see it.

JB, "Das Boot" is at the top of my list also. In my opinion it's an excellent story that most hard liners like us will enjoy. It's also the ONLY movie I've ever ran across that manages to depict life on a submarine accurately. It sucks. Even in a nuclear powered submarine...which can be worse as you NEVER have to make port...or at least it feels like never...
I spent a few years on a sewer piper myself in the mid 70's, and we never seemed to have near as much excitement and entertainment as "Hunt for Red Sean Connery" or "Run Silent Run Dry Deep" or "Grey Lady Going Down" or "K 19 The Widowmaker" or (God help me) "Crimson Ride" or the fatally flawed "U-571".
I never could forgive the revisionist screenwriters who decided to make the HMS Bulldog an American submarine so Mathew McConeaghey didn't have to learn the accent....
Sigh...

Never been depth charged, never had an (armed) torpedo shot at me, never even fought....but we spent many months on patrol playing tag with Russian subs...all that other cold war BS while on station...and I can promise you it's nothing more than work. Endless work. 12 on 12 off port and starboard with the bonus 4 hour watch to keep that 12 off from getting too cozy. I'm still catnapping trying to catch up...lol...

Of course...they are FINALLY talking about letting women on board subs in the US Nav...finally...so who knows....things are looking up!

Do you think Kate Beckinsale has a green card?

Regards,

Dan