TOTAL RE-COIL: The Battle for Taco Village (Coil no Entry... you Bastad)

[Copper]

Well, I've been away, but am back as of last night.

An obvious couple of teases there.

Fortunately, I doubt Spike reads this stuff (as soon as I re-read this, I somehow know I will be proved wrong in short order), and Randy has become so mellow you could use him as a meditation training aid.

But I'm uneasy on quips being posted that could provoke angry reactions and yet another round of moderating (hoick, ptuh). Please make my life easy, as I am just a simple man trying to make his way in the universe :cheeky:

Love the DAR. Get on with it!! :)

These are all known as jokes people.

I am harder on myself than on anyone else, as I know I am perhaps the biggest target in the whole club. I realize my own foibles, and I do not pretend to make it otherwise. I am hoping the Coil is doing the same, and in our email conversations over this battle, it appears so, and we are having as much fun in house than you guys are getting out here.

That anything had to be said about anything just makes me unbearably sad... for God's sake... laugh at yourself as much as you do at others... and after awhile we'll all just be laughing together.

Funny how that works.

This isn't real warfare. It's entertainment.

If you catch me being one iota harder on anyone else on these boards that I am on myself, then you have my permission to complain about your lumpy porridge any time you wish... but until that happens... offer the positive at any juncture or crossroads at any time, and guess what... this is a better place to come and read and post.

Now, if you are all finished... let's hear some positive stuff. Because you know, this is what this was all about.

And I'm not going to let you guys get me down.

I have Peek to amuse. I owe it to him to continue.

Cheers all!

Leto

[cillmhor]

I am one of the silent, doh not any more, majority that are really enjoying this and other AARs, keep up the good work, and the tactical advice. It definitely deserves a taco.

[RedDevil]

and Randy has become so mellow you could use him as a meditation training aid.

OOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM:zzz:

[Copper]

"To use raw power is to make yourself infinitely vulnerable to greater power"

-Bashar Miles Teg (A descendent of Leto, and through genetics, is obviously also full of crap... see... it's really not my fault... nature made me this way!)

Le Coil (please do as I do and spit ruefully after every time I use his name... thank you) has evened the odds some with the dispatching of poor old Dr. (Adam) Sadler... the M-10 did its best to reverse out of LOS, but the lone panzer got in two shots (yes, distressing) the first penetrating and causing shrapnel to obliterate a tasty and crispy keel portion of Popeye's chicken, the second penetrating fully both M-10 and the tank driver: Eddie. You see, never feed your troops greasy chicken as the inevitable finger slip may cause your tank to veer off in the wrong way and make for a very bad day. My error was in trying to move the "reverse" movement from straight back to behind the trees to the back and left. When you do this, instead of retreating backwards quickly, the tank sticks around and pivots first... and unfortunately, is much longer exposed than it should have been... so remember, whenever you retreat, no matter where the cover is, always reverse straight back so that the tank is not slowed down by any minor pivots it may need to make before following the order back.

The Germans will be perplexed if they ever discover the bodies around the stricken M-10, and will be hard pressed to explain how the Tank Commander still maintained a solid grip on a bucket of chicken (with a 75mm hole through it nonetheless) even in death.



Now my little tinpot advance of my 3 priests up to the crest to wallop that pesky Grille has not worked out well... my strategy is often to wait until the enemy has made a powerful move against me, and then be set in position to deliver a crushing blow upon that powerful movement (hmmm... speaking of powerful movements, now I for some reason need to use the bathroom... back in a jiffy!).

Right.

Massing your own units against the exposed flanks and stragglers of that enemy force is the way to go... thus my targeting of the grille with my 3 priests... nevertheless, LOS fails me once again... and I will have to see if I can area fire at the grille (they are fragile and a 105 shell landing near it can immobilize or destroy it quite easily) for a turn and get away with it, without the Grille being able to fire back, or the lone panzer IV in pic a nic basket valley reversing to get into my LOS and take a pot shot or two at the trio of howitzers... I suspect that the 3:1 odds will be weighing heavy in Le Insidious Coil's mind, but just in case, I intend to block that route of attack with one Priest issuing smoke orders on the LOS area the Panzer IV may have on me...



The turn previous, several of Le Spiteful and oh so vile and hateful Coil's assault guns in the middle began shelling the area outside what I call "SERENITY NOW!! cove". This blind firing (to no affect on my plucky western farm boy Canadian troopers who blow up gophers with Dynamite and are thus immune to shell shock) tells me that my units are in symbol mode or unseen... as you can see in the illustration, I am completely protected from his tanks and if the Germans want to get to the Taco Stand for lunch... they will have to come up the hill and take it. This gives me the option of surprise on any moving troops he has to send in there to dig me out, and a few good opportunities for my PIAT boys to pot a panzer in the side as they advance.



Note* Being somewhat evhul myself, I am moving up my second batch of three priests through the underbrush into SERENITY NOW!! Cove to 1) blast varmint german troopers who enter, and 2) get a good side flanking position on the Taco Stand and Taco Factory flags...

Here's spit in your eye... wish me luck Peek... as everyone else is rooting against meh!

Cheers!

Leto

(On a serious note: Mark is playing quite well. He's kept his troops hidden as well, and it appears that as of last turn, he has begun moving them forward... after researching his play, he often does not move large groups of his troops (that rhymes, giggle) until well into the middle of the game, and often keeps them in what might be viewed as "silly" places, and thus may pop out almost anywhere... I need to be aware of that.)

[Copper]

Oh, btw, POS has read this thread... note that the 5 star thread rating has been lowered to a "4"...

: )

(Unless it was RD, and if it was... SHAME ON YOU)

; )

Cheers!

Leto

[Copper]

"When your opponent fears you, then's the moment when you give the fear its own rein, give it the time to work on him. Let it become terror. The terrified man fights himself. Eventually, he attacks in desperation. That is the most dangerous moment, but the terrified man can be trusted usually to make a fatal mistake. You are being trained here to detect these mistakes and use them."

- Gurney Halleck, Weapons Master to Leto

The real question I must ask myself is: does Coil fear me? Perchance he does, then what type of fear is it? Is it the paralyzing, prickling fear of horror that accompanies a Raven being perched upon a pallid bust of Pallis right above your chamber door? Or is it the type of fear you have of being caught picking your nose at a busy intersection by a busty young blonde in the car next to you? Or is it perhaps the fear of not being able to get to a free shrimp buffet in time and missing out on slurping down some sweet little sea beasties?

Either way, I intend on playing this one out and hopefully giving the Coil enough rope with which to neatly hang himself by.

LE insidious and Mongoloidal Coil is moving up his infantry now... they are no doubt probing, and the intoxicating wafting smell of the Tacos is distracting them from being too overly cautious.



My howitzer jockies are in position and will begin pounding out the approaching infantry next turn. Unfortunately for Le gaseous and putrid smelling Coil, his infantry must move forward through only two bottlenecks of cover... and little does he know I have both approaches well covered. Note that I am firing smoke in LOS areas where Le curmudgeony Coil may try to sneak in a shot from a distance... I intend on smoking up all his LOS alleys and force him to move in closer with his armor, where I will be at equal footing, and perhaps get my infantry involved... not quite laying a trap, but more along the lines of baiting a POS... just not as fun...



I've been toying with Le pernicious and probing Coil via email about how armor strong I am, and he feels that I'm bluffing... I suppose he will find out soon enough.

The M-10's are repositioning, as I do not like the 3 panzers and 1 grille to 2 M-10's match up. They will stay out of harm's way and look for an opportunity to present itself, hopefully hooking up to overwatch the flanks of my howitzer boys...

I'm finally looking forward to the next turn... time to bwast some kwauts.

Leto --><--Le Repugnant Long eared Varmint Coil

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzkOW8tOZX4

Cheers!

Leto

[Copper]

"Popeye's is FRIGGIN AWESOME"

-Little Nicky

Although Le debased, ignominious and iniquitious Coil is moving his panzers back out of pic a nic valley, a platoon of Kraut infantry is spotted moving up the east side of the road leading out of pic a nic valley... I think I know why...



The Popeye's ploy seems to be working... it has distracted the Jerries from their main objective: the Tacos. With the little infantry that Le heteroclite and obovoid Coil has at his disposal... this is a good thing...

They will never get the Popeye's... (not so sure about the Taco's yet)

Cheers!

Leto

[Copper]

"Mobility is the key to military success."

-Descendent of Leto

If that is the case, I am #&@*ed.



There is nothing more frustrating than to lose a key piece on the battlefield... the 'open ground' of the battlefield that is...

But there are plans within plans...



Le gangrenous, malificent and apotropaic Coil is faced by a growing wall of smoke from which he cannot bombard my men, and that cuts off his men from support and cover, allowing me to bombard his advance lanes... the strategy is to lure those armored assets in close and destroy them, by combined arms.

And there be a ducky on the pond already.



I will have three shots to his one if he sticks around... a wall of smoke is going up everywhere else. I give a nod to the gods...

Cheers!

Leto

[Colonel Talvela]

How could I have stayed away so long from this comedy.

[Copper]

How could I have stayed away so long from this comedy.

Good sense and taste?

Outside of the mention of Taco's or Popeye's in this thread, there isn't much else that is desirable... or the wish for my demise at the poop smeared hand of Le Diaper Changing Coil by almost everyone at the Blitz...

(Hey, I'm with you guys, I hate myself too, and am also rooting for the Coil... I got really good odds in Vegas at the sportsbook at the Flamingo. I may lose, but I will be walking away a rich man... "buy myself some friends" rich... the odds were quite good.)

Cheers!

Leto