TOTAL RE-COIL: The Battle for Taco Village (Coil no Entry... you Bastad)

[Copper]

A SECRET REPORT WITHIN THE (blitz) GUILD

"Yes! The Coil may have him!"
"There will be great rejoicing... prepare a marinade for the minstrels and stoke the fires on the spit"
"Does anyone want to throw darts? I have a Leto picture up on the GUILD dartboard... it's entirely intoxicating plumping him in the head with sharp steel"

(a strange dark rancid smelling smoke begins to seep into the GUILD STAR CHAMBER, rolling along the floor and then enveloping everyone in the room)

"Hey!"
"What the??"
"COUGH COUGH"
"DAMN THAT LETO!! He's gassing us!!"
"SPUTTER *that* CHOKE *douche* COUGH *bag*!!! *HACK*"
"Hey, wait a minute... I don't think this is COUGH gas"
"Wow, I feel pretty good..."
"yeah, me too!"
"Hey, let's order in some really large sub sandwiches... I got the munchies for some reason..."
"No, I have a COUGH better idea... how about some POPEYE's??"
"OH YEAH (mass agreement)"
"A GUILD member enters: You guys on crack, M8? Why aren't you bashing Leto?"
"Nope, not crack... but its good stuff..."
"You know, douchebags are really useful items... I don't know why people give it such a negative connoation... really when you think about it, they really make the world a much nicer place"
"Yeah, your right... I never thought about it that way"
"Could you imagine the world without em?? Not something I'd "be down on... or with (chuckle)..."
(an eruption of GUILD giggles)
"Hey... you know what? COUGH... Leto's not that bad of a guy really... he's actually pretty funny"
"Pass the muncho's dude"
"I still say we kill him...
(EVERYONE TURNS TO LOOK AT THE SPEAKER)
"Naaaaaaahhhh... just kiddin... we don't need to kill him... maybe we can make him an officer of the club.... GOTCHA!!! Had you guys going, didn't I... I'm so funny"
"You do know that SteelGod offered him the position of custodian, right?"
"COUGH... REALLY?? HOLY CRAP"
"Yep, COUGH... this is really good chit man... now what was I saying?? ooooh yeaaaah... STEELGOD asked him to be a custodian but he turned it down...."
"why?"
"gAwdD.. could you imagine???"
"Yep, he spouted off some gibberish about power and corruption and stupid philosophy crap"
"No waaaay man... that's dodging the responsibility... if he'd been a real man, he would have committed himself... you know... that's a copout"
"Hey where the hell is that Popeye's???"


??
They seem like they are in a better mood... I should have thought of this a lot sooner... I had a lot of that "Medicinal" stuff left over from my chemo... I think I found a good use for it...

; )

Cheers!

Leto

[Copper]

FYI:

The BLITZ GUILD parody is not about the Officers of this club, but made up of some fictional and non-fictional personalities. I have re-read the lot of them to scan for offensive and specific references.

What I do see now is that on occasions the parody could have been interpreted as taking sly digs on the officers of the Blitz. I have now had a couple of people point this out. For this I apologize... it was all supposed to be fiction and near fiction, taking aim at myself solely.

Cheers!
Leto